Playing with pitching my latest novel

Here are some versions I came up with...

#1

The gods have gifted Winter as a Seer, but her brother, Aven comes to despise her visions when they fail to prevent the deaths of their parents and the girl he loves. When brother and sister are thrown from their medieval world into a high-tech order of peacekeepers, Aven must choose whether or not to follow Winter in her blind devotion to the gods, while Winter must face her newest vision and make a choice: trust the mysterious gods who’ve given her power, or forsake them, and try to save her brother from the gruesome death she’s foreseen.

#2

Winter is empowered, having been gifted by the gods, but her brother, Aven, comes to despise her divine visions when they fail to prevent the deaths of their parents and the girl he loves. Winter embraces the violent destiny promised her by the gods, but Aven must choose whether or not to follow the sister he loves down that dark road—even when she is more faithful to the gods he hates than to him. But when questions regarding the gods mount in Winter’s mind, she must decide if she will remain devoted to her high calling—especially in the face of her newest vision: the gruesome death of her brother.

#3 (a bit of a combo)

Winter treasures that she was chosen to be god-touched, but her brother, Aven comes to despise her divine visions when they fail to prevent the deaths of their parents and the girl he loves. Winter embraces the violent destiny promised her by the gods, and Aven must choose whether or not to follow the sister he loves down that dark road—even when she is more faithful to the gods he hates than to him. But when brother and sister are thrown from their medieval world into a high-tech order of peacekeepers, Winter must decide if she will remain devoted to her high calling and ignore the fresh questions surrounding her cruel foresight, including the impending horror of her newest vision: the gruesome death of her brother.

#4 (simple is better)
Aven desires a simple, farmers life, but his sister, Winter, is a Seer, and wants to fulfill the high destiny of the gods. Will Aven risk his life and dreams to follow Winter down the violent path set before her? And will Winter keep faith if she cannot save Aven from the gruesome death she’s forseen?

2 comments:

GretchenCooks said...

I think I like #3 the best! Since you have revised them, as they stand. I was liking #1 the best until about the middle and then it got confusing to me. Too much going back and forth between brother and sister in almost every sentence. So, if you were sending out one of these right now I would go with 3 but actually think that 1 could be the best. :)

Marine Kopp said...

well if i have the time defiantly read this :) Clara Bush