Prologue of my newest work in progress

Well, first off, as you can see by the picture on the left, I've been a bit distracted and VERY busy with my 5 month old son Nathan. The spare time I once had is no longer there, and so I have had to work hard to make time for writing.

I wanted to share with my blog friends and any passersby a glimpse at my newest novel. The story could fall under many labels, near-future sci-fi, science fantasy, Contemporary fantasy, thriller. But at the heart of my endeaver is to tell a character story that agonizes over deep questions and feels more like real-life than your average paperback thriller.

The following is the current draft of my prologue...and I'm sorry you won't really get a picture of my "vision" in this scene, but at least you'll get to see some of what I've been toiling on these past few months.





PROLOUGE:

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“YOU MOVE—HE DIES!”
            Danje Suhad’s English was poor, but the 9mm pointed at Senator Strauss’ head was crystal clear. The diners in the restaurant obeyed unquestioningly, frozen where they sat.
            With his free arm, Suhad shoved the senator through the kitchen doors. A few cooks and waiters hunkered down on the floor. Senator Strauss gasped in pain as Suhad shoved the gun hard into his ear.
            “You move and I kill him! I kill this pig, you move.”
            Suhad pushed his hostage forward, towards a back door that led to the alley.
            “Please,” moaned Strauss. “What have I done to you?”
            Suhad’s eyes fixated on the back of the senators expensive suit.  “You send your soldiers to fight against God’s. You smother the world with your pornography and sin.” Suhad slammed Strauss against the back door sending him stumbling to his hands and knees in the alleyway. A car idled outside. Suhad’s brother, Nabeel, sat in the front seat staring out at him anxiously. Strauss attempted to stand. Suhad kicked his legs out from under him and he crumpled again onto the wet asphalt. “You are worthy of nothing but death.”
            The sound of distant sirens wafted in the air. The car door banged open and Nabeel stood and shouted in Lebanese, “Kill him and let’s go!”
            Suhad’s eyes widened. A ghost-like shadow stirred behind his brother. Before he had taken his next breath the shadow had taken on bone, then ligament, then organs, then flesh, each arising one after the other at an unfathomable speed. It was as if Allah were forming a man from the dank elements of the alley, as he had Adam on the sixth day of creation. Suhad gaped at the male figure standing behind his brother, dimly illuminated by a pulsing neon sign hanging above.
An angel of Allah?
A gun glinted in the man’s hand. A shot shook the alley and Nabeel’s head rocked forward in a burst of blood.  In that instant, Suhad’s last thoughts swam around the impossible singularity that the man now swiveling a gun towards him had materialized out of thin air—an angel of Satan?—and then a second bullet tore through his frontal lobe.

16 comments:

Kat Heckenbach said...

He's 5 months already?? Boy, time flies. He's SO adorable.

Like the prologue, too :).

Peter Stone said...

Hi Brandon
If you think you've got no time with one, wait until you have two, LOL.
I've got a 12 year old and a 5 year old, and typically can't find free time till 10.00pm.
I'm not doing much writing either.

Loved this prologue too. I presume the mysterious assassin is the one agonizing over the deep questions. Perhaps he has developed a time machine, or a matter transporter, and is trying to clean up the world, but feels bad with every execution...

logankstewart said...

I really liked the prologue, too, Brandon. It definitely pulls in the reader.

Shirley R. said...

While its not my favorite genre, the writing is good, strong. I wondered if you were coming back to blogging, but its good to have your hands full with a little one.

Good luck with the novel.

Brandon said...

Hi Kat,
Yeah, 5 Months! It's amazing. Yep, he's a handsome little man :)

Peter,
Thanks for the heads up :) I guess I'll have to jump for even more loops when number two comes down the road.
And I"m glad you liked the prologue. And I'm pleased by your presumptions about this mysterious assassin, because none of them are in fact the case. But that's a good thing! I wanted to create a lot of questions that wouldn't get answered right away, and I want my readers surprised when they figure out what's actually happening in the prologue.

Logan,
Thanks buddy! I wanted the prologue short but poignant.

Hi Shirley,
I checked out your blog to find out what your "favorite genre" was :)
So you're a romance girl. Well, one of those agonizing storylines in this novel revolves around a very atypical romance. So maybe you'll find something in there for you too!
And yes, I'm going to blog as much as I can. This month just happened to be wild.

KM Wilsher said...

Schwew. Had me holding my breath. . .love the figure. Heart pounding. . .

And the baby, wow, he is so big
What a joy! We had pleasure to see pictures of the whole family this month!

Brandon said...

Hey KM,
Glad the short prologue did it's job :)
Yeah, that's true! The whole fam was up on my blog this month.

Amy Deardon said...

He's so cute! I'm sure you and your wife are enjoying every minute :-)

And you are one scary-good writer! How are sales going for your new book?

Chris said...

Whoah, the creepy figure materializing was awesome! Congrats on writing a gripping prologue!

Kat's right, the little guy is adorable. Reminds me of my first nephew, who just turned another year older yesterday. Time does fly...

Brandon said...

Hi Amy,
Little Nathan definitely elicits a lot of smiles :)
And American Midnight will be out sometime in May, maybe in April. I'm really looking forward to its release! Thanks again for reviewing it. I'll let you know what day AM is out.

Chris :)
Thanks! I definitely was going for short and sweet...and shocking. So creepy is good too!
I agree, Nathan is adorable...he must get that from his mommy.

Joe Chiappetta said...

Off to a great start--book and baby!

Brandon said...

Thanks Joe :)

Just a Philomath said...

Love the prologue, Brandon! Can't wait to see more of this.

Brandon said...

Thanks Philomath :)

David N Alderman said...

Nice prologue so far. Kept my interest. :D

Brandon said...

Hi David,
Glad you liked the prologue. I like the cover art on your book by the way!