Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Unlike Episode One, Jar Jar Binks isn't an issue. Sure he's given the position of senate representative (something he's clearly unqualified for), but at least he's undergone some serious intelligence training and--for the most part--no longer plays the bumbling fool. Overall, Attack of the Clones is a slight improvement over Episode One.

The good:
 We've got more great visual effects. Like the first movie, it's a joy to see amazing new worlds both beautiful and hostile. Theirs something plain cool about the mixing of untamed planets and advanced technology. Theirs something fascinating about exploring new worlds, but to be able to do it in a sweet spaceship, that's totally rad...

I also enjoyed Boba Fett the bounty hunter...he was an almost sympathetic bad guy. Especially so since he had his son with him. Then there was the epic battle at the end with three fun monster-aliens, tons of jedi, the clone army vs. the droid army, and of course Yoda battling Count Dooku (I remember the audience going wild when I first went to see it in theaters).

The Bad:
Again, poor character development. The first movie was so-so, but this one was stiff. The lines were often simplistic and lacked depth. And then there was the romance between Anakin and Princess Amidala. It was totally forced. She had no reason to be so in love with him, and he had no reason to be in love with her. Anakin was just a kid in the first movie, why would he be desiring her...he barely new her...if he'd been a teen, then yeah, but he was just a boy. She'd have koodies still. And then on her end, why would she fall for him with all those cheesy lines he gave her. As a viewer, nothing in the romance was earned. My wife even protested saying: "What has he done to make her say that!"

So in conclusion, Attack of the clones was better than Episode One, but a far cry from what it could have been. But I'm looking forward to watching Episode Three...I remember it being the redeeming gem in the bunch!

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

I've decided to go back through the entire Star Wars series (all six, new and old), and take a close look at what made some of these movies so fantastic, and others so...problematic.

Unfortunately, The Phantom Menace falls under the second category. I find it incredibly difficult to mess up Star Wars...we've got Jedi with lightsabers, really cool looking space ships, bizarre creatures from thousands of worlds, exotic locals of various planets and solar systems, and not to mention the story itself...so how did they manage to ruin a sure shot movie?

 Insert Jar-Jar Binks and the Gungans.

As far as I'm concerned, The Phantom Menace would have been a great Star Wars contribution if it weren't for Mr. Binks and the moronic Gungans. This ridiculous race single-handedly managed to ruin an entire movie.

For one, Jar Jar himself is characterized as a fool. Just listen to the way he talks, and sadly the entire degenerate race of Gungans talk as Jar Jar does. And how does he talk? Like a fool, a half-wit. I guess George Lucas was willing to sacrifice every adult and teenage Star Wars fan's love for the series for the sake of fourth grade fart humor...which is what Jar Jar amounts to...(sigh).

I found myself over and over mumbling angrily during the movie, "Kill it! Somebody please! Put it out of its misery!" My wife elbowed me a few times, but then I think she began to side with me as the buffoon continued to ruin Star Wars.

As I watched, I asked myself...Why on earth did Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi ask the creature for help?  Surely their Jedi wisdom would have warned them that this was a foolish creature in desperate need of a quick lightsaber swipe to the neck...

Again and again the Jedi take Jar Jar along when they should have--at the very least--left him behind.

Then to make matters worse, during the climactic battle scene, we have Jar Jar, the prince of fools, doing all sorts of stupid, klutzy things and gibbering like a brainless salamander, and then what happens!?! All his foolishness amounts, not to his desired demise, but to him helping win the war. As the flappy-eared caricature stumbles over droid parts in a dance of uncoordinated buffoonery, he accidentally kills approaching droids by haphazardly discharging their weapons, thereby saving his own life (to my utter frustration). And then, again, when he should have been crushed to death by bouncing blue energy balls which he accidentally unloosens, he winds up, instead, knocking out large droid fighting vessels (and he of course survives).

The entire race of Gungans should have stayed in the swamp. Jar Jar was not an exception to his race, he seemed to be the rule. The Gungan King was a blathering nonsensical being who acted like a child. He even spit raspberries into the air when he was excited.

In conclusion, the movie was great, except for Jar Jar and the Gungans. I know I don't stand alone in this conviction. The massive number of anti-Jar Jar websites is a testimony to that. It seems Jar Jar annoyed just about everyone...except for the elementary aged audience.